题目内容：

搞笑英语话剧剧本
最好6人,简短.适合初中的.有中英文.

优质解答

　　孔雀东南飞
　　wander severy five miles
　　焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
　　焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)
　　太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)强盗burglars(a&b)
　　prologue
　　(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)
　　j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my
　　wife is wusong.
　　(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!
　　(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头) My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i don’t care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
　　(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
　　my god! who can help me?(下)
　　act1
　　(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)
　　jm(拄拐棍上):(对门内)Lunch! Lunch! where are you?
　　l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ,mum?
　　jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.
　　l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
　　jm:since you married my son you have behaved so badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so lazy……
　　l:but……
　　jm:never interrupt me!
　　l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all day long,cooking and washing! i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken
　　and……
　　jm:but all those you have done aren’t as valuable as a grandson!
　　l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)
　　act2
　　(l拿着锅铲拨电话)
　　嘟嘟嘟嘟……
　　l:Hello,Is that mum!?
　　lm:Yes,honey,what happened?
　　l:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
　　Lm（大声啊大声）:see! when you insisted on marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen to me!
　　l：but,mum……
　　lm:never interrupt me!
　　l:i’m not interrupting you!i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? And i’ll marry whomever you want me to.
　　lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter
　　haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go
　　and tell him.（挂电话）
　　l(握着电话,惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅
　　铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)
　　act3
　　(j睡眼惺忪上)
　　j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are my socks?
　　(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly!
　　(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
　　jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’s Lunch?
　　j:mum, can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!
　　jm(沉吟片刻):well, a son without a wife is useless. Lunch is a nice girl,go and take her back!
　　j(立正敬礼):yes madam!
　　act4
　　(j开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)
　　a:（伸手拦路）stop!
　　the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
　　b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上,但踩到了a的脚,a抱脚跳做痛苦状)
　　b:if you want to go by this street---
　　a、b:give us all your money!
　　j(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角纸币):is 1mao enough?
　　(2强盗晕倒状,接着聚在一边商量)
　　a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
　　b:if we cannot rob any money today,we will have no thing to eat tonight!
　　a:Hey,i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next week.we can go and rob the wedding!
　　b:good idea!
　　j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!
　　a&b:why?
　　j:Lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!(突然有了主意)Oh!you are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? i’ll go with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
　　b:have you got any experience?
　　j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票,上书＄1,000,000)
　　act5
　　(转眼已到婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,l盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
　　(j和三强盗跃至台中)
　　ab&j:Stop!
　　a:the road is built by me!
　　b:and i planted one tree.
　　j:if you want to go by this street---
　　ab&j:give us all your money!
　　(l听到j的声音,掀起了盖头)
　　l(惊喜万分):johnny!(飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
　　(ms大怒,挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲,ms打中了j身后的l,l晕倒)
　　j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去）
　　(j与ms混战,操起锅铲击晕ms,将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
　　j(扶起l,关切地问):honey, how are you?
　　l(哭状):i hurt a lot!
　　j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
　　l(起身去追):wai……wait for me! (跑下)
　　END