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帮忙改一道新托福独立写作题是个07年9月15的题,是说extended现在是不是重要的题,觉得好容易写偏,所以写一个给大
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帮忙改一道新托福独立写作题
是个07年9月15的题,是说extended现在是不是重要的题,觉得好容易写偏,所以写一个给大家看看,有什么要改进的畅所欲言,小弟8月8考,希望能帮忙看下,跪谢!
Nowadays most families in our society are nuclear families,thus many people think the extended families which are seldom found are not still important.However,in my view,extended families are still very significant since they have many advantages such as having more cares among families and getting more advises when any of the family has troubles.
When we live in extended families,we can get more cares and helps from other family numbers than nuclear families.For me as an example,I live in an extended family which is included not only many parents but also my uncle,aunt,brother and grandparents.I felt I can get much more care than a simple nuclear family give.When I had a fever,my aunt can give me the instant diagnose since she is a doctor in a famous hospital; when I had a problem in math,my uncle can give me the best solution as his major in university is math.Even my grandparents,they also give me a lot of help by telling me much experience in life.Thus,these cares seem impossible in a nuclear families and I can feel an extended families more functional.
Secondly,if people can get more advises if they live in an extended family.About last year,my mother lost her job and lost confidence in life since she thought she would do nothing and left at home for her left life.As I lived in an extended family,as I mentioned,all the numbers begin to do as much as possible with my mother's problems.My uncle and my aunt try their best to find a decent job for my mother; my grandparents try to help my mother build up confidence.As the strong relationship in my uncle's business,he helped my mother to find a pretty high salary work and finally my mother rebuild her confidence and take the job delighted.Therefore,extended families have the extra function to get people more job opportunities.
Surely,I know there are less and less extended families in our society,but,it is the truth that extended families have their own merits and will be functional to society.
小弟掐时间写的,希望多提宝贵意见,再谢!
请帮我看看有没有走题.
帮忙改一道新托福独立写作题
是个07年9月15的题,是说extended现在是不是重要的题,觉得好容易写偏,所以写一个给大家看看,有什么要改进的畅所欲言,小弟8月8考,希望能帮忙看下,跪谢!
Nowadays most families in our society are nuclear families,thus many people think the extended families which are seldom found are not still important.However,in my view,extended families are still very significant since they have many advantages such as having more cares among families and getting more advises when any of the family has troubles.
When we live in extended families,we can get more cares and helps from other family numbers than nuclear families.For me as an example,I live in an extended family which is included not only many parents but also my uncle,aunt,brother and grandparents.I felt I can get much more care than a simple nuclear family give.When I had a fever,my aunt can give me the instant diagnose since she is a doctor in a famous hospital; when I had a problem in math,my uncle can give me the best solution as his major in university is math.Even my grandparents,they also give me a lot of help by telling me much experience in life.Thus,these cares seem impossible in a nuclear families and I can feel an extended families more functional.
Secondly,if people can get more advises if they live in an extended family.About last year,my mother lost her job and lost confidence in life since she thought she would do nothing and left at home for her left life.As I lived in an extended family,as I mentioned,all the numbers begin to do as much as possible with my mother's problems.My uncle and my aunt try their best to find a decent job for my mother; my grandparents try to help my mother build up confidence.As the strong relationship in my uncle's business,he helped my mother to find a pretty high salary work and finally my mother rebuild her confidence and take the job delighted.Therefore,extended families have the extra function to get people more job opportunities.
Surely,I know there are less and less extended families in our society,but,it is the truth that extended families have their own merits and will be functional to society.
小弟掐时间写的,希望多提宝贵意见,再谢!
请帮我看看有没有走题.
是个07年9月15的题,是说extended现在是不是重要的题,觉得好容易写偏,所以写一个给大家看看,有什么要改进的畅所欲言,小弟8月8考,希望能帮忙看下,跪谢!
Nowadays most families in our society are nuclear families,thus many people think the extended families which are seldom found are not still important.However,in my view,extended families are still very significant since they have many advantages such as having more cares among families and getting more advises when any of the family has troubles.
When we live in extended families,we can get more cares and helps from other family numbers than nuclear families.For me as an example,I live in an extended family which is included not only many parents but also my uncle,aunt,brother and grandparents.I felt I can get much more care than a simple nuclear family give.When I had a fever,my aunt can give me the instant diagnose since she is a doctor in a famous hospital; when I had a problem in math,my uncle can give me the best solution as his major in university is math.Even my grandparents,they also give me a lot of help by telling me much experience in life.Thus,these cares seem impossible in a nuclear families and I can feel an extended families more functional.
Secondly,if people can get more advises if they live in an extended family.About last year,my mother lost her job and lost confidence in life since she thought she would do nothing and left at home for her left life.As I lived in an extended family,as I mentioned,all the numbers begin to do as much as possible with my mother's problems.My uncle and my aunt try their best to find a decent job for my mother; my grandparents try to help my mother build up confidence.As the strong relationship in my uncle's business,he helped my mother to find a pretty high salary work and finally my mother rebuild her confidence and take the job delighted.Therefore,extended families have the extra function to get people more job opportunities.
Surely,I know there are less and less extended families in our society,but,it is the truth that extended families have their own merits and will be functional to society.
小弟掐时间写的,希望多提宝贵意见,再谢!
请帮我看看有没有走题.
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